TV: Bedlam 1.3

Three scary TV shows are premiering this month: Bedlam (Saturdays on BBC America starting 10/1), American Horror Story (Wednesdays on FX starting 10/5) and season two of The Walking Dead (Sundays on AMC starting 10/16). Every week I’ll post recaps shortly after each new episode airs. They’ll be a little different than my movie posts. I’m assuming anyone who’s reading the recap has already seen the episode or isn’t planning to watch. That is to say, *SPOILERS AHEAD.*

Welcome back to lovely Bedlam Heights: luxury living for a diverse population of both the living and the dead. This week’s installment begins with our latest disposable character, Sadie, a pretty artist whose well-stocked medicine cabinet hints at a history of institutionalization. It should come as no surprise that this history will be the catalyst for the supernatural meddling of whatever ghostie has targeted her. I wonder if Jed will swoop in just in the nick of time to save the day. Sadie’s particular harassment at first takes the form of an empty shoebox in the hallway, which she ignores. Hey, if you see something, say something!

Meanwhile Kate the supertramp makes good on her promise to bone the married guy from the gym, which she does in the most faux kinky way imaginable, awkwardly ripping his shirt off and pushing him down on the bed. Who on earth is that horny that early in the morning? I can barely see straight without my coffee but she’s up for aggressive sex play before breakfast. And does she not care that she is going to wrinkle her suit? Kate gets all mad at her boy toy for accurately mentioning that her dad’s design choices – paintings of abusive psychiatrists and stuff – are creeping out the tenants. Kate is more than a little unreasonable in that regard but perhaps it’s because she’s feeling constrained by the leopard bra she refuses to take off while getting down.

Sadie and Jed – who located a shirt at last – meet while he’s tossing construction scraps around in a big trash bin. He hops out and they talk about art and their matching mental illnesses. In no time she invites this dumpster-diving stranger back to her flat for tea, completely unaware that anyone who likes Jed is in danger of being strangled, drowned or otherwise murdered by a ghost. More shocking, she lets him plop his dirty ass down on that white couch!

That's what I get for shaking hands with a guy in a dumpster.

After Jed leaves, the ghost fucks up Sadie’s nice charcoal sketch with a dirty handprint, which may have come from her own hand. Fairly creepy. When she returns from downing a few more pills, there are even more handprints. Okay, that’s cool and all but it’s the exact same scare tactic the last ghost used, except it was tire marks instead of handprints. Luckily, Sadie does not have a cat.

Jed gets a flash of a woman strapped to a gurney and somehow figures out (sans text message instructions) that Sadie’s being pursued by the victim of a lobotomy who lost a baby. Sadie is also seeing visions of this dead woman in white. Jed invites her to dinner. Sadie, not the ghost.

At dinner we learn that Kate is still a catty little turd, as she mocks Jed’s psychiatric hospitalizations, and Sadie’s as well. Among a cast of barely competent model-slash-actors, Kate is by far the worst. Thankfully Sadie doesn’t back down and totally calls Kate out for her complete lack of empathy. I’ll be sad to see Sadie go at the end of this episode. Jed’s impressed too and offers to walk her back to her apartment, or more precisely back to her bedroom. Jed gets that pesky shirt off and they roll around like an after-school special for a minute or two. Confession time: my constant jokes about Jed’s shirt allergy are getting lazy, I know. The truth is if I had abs like that I’d burn every shirt in my closet. I’ll try to work on my issues.

Back at the flat, Kate slams some shit around, either angry that Sadie made her look like the jerk she is or that Jed is off banging her while Kate has to content herself with sloppy seconds. To be honest I don’t give a shit either way. I hope Kate dies a thousand deaths. What is slightly interesting is that Ryan tells Molly he can’t watch _Master Chef_ with her because he has to go to night church with his mom, which translates to a dimly lit make-out session with a random dude at a bar. His church is very progressive.

Please don't tell anyone I'm living in the basement. Or that I'm stealing cable.

On his way back from this very mild hookup, Ryan encounters an old lady who lives in the basement of Bedlam Heights. A former patient, she clues him in to a series of abductions in the ’80s. One of them was her daughter and she thinks the abductions have started again with Zoe, and that Kate’s dad is somehow behind it all.

After getting the Zoe update for the week, we get another Kate-in-a-nightie dream. This time she tries to help thrashing bag-head lady but fails. It’s made clear that Kate is sleepwalking while she’s having these dreams, so that’s kinda cool. I once sleepwalked in my parents house when I was a little kid and it ended in me pissing in the refrigerator. True story.

Marilyn Manson?

Sadie’s visions are intensifying and the boxes keep appearing, despite her attempts to burn them. Now they’re filled with bloody towels and other gross stuff. She buries the newest one but the lady in white pulls her arm into the ground. Jed arrives in time to pull her free. As if we didn’t know, Sadie reveals she lost a child years ago, leading to her breakdown. She hid her pregnancy because the father was a friend of the family and it may have even been a rape situation. Fie on these writers for not being crystal clear about something so serious. She says she gave birth alone in a bathroom and buried the stillborn child. That is fucking horrible and I’m really not pleased that such a trivial show thinks it has the right to so lightly make use of such unspeakable tragedy.

Jed and Ryan do another information exchange: Jed gets Ryan to haxor the patient files and find out who lost a baby (like the name of the dead mother actually matters) while Ryan recruits Jed to talk with Grace, the ex-patient in the basement. Grace tells him she was friends with his real mom, who died in that very hospital giving birth to him. Jed is understandably upset and confronts Kate’s dad and Kate about it, but they both blow him off. Jed, self-centered fuckwad that he is, reveals that Grace told him about his mom AND the missing girls AND the suspected role of the Bettany family in the kidnappings. Jed does not even pause to think that his new squatter friend might be placed in danger by these revelations.

If you say, "You can't handle the truth" one more time...

Somehow Kate gets even more pissed and takes it out on her married jump-off, clawing at his chest before decking the poor bastard with a vicious right cross. She gets a glimpse of a mangled version of her face in the mirror and freaks right the fuck out. That’s what you look like to me too, Kate.

Fucking Botox.

The climax features Sadie trying to kill herself with pills but somehow ending up in a wooden box being buried by the building’s contractors. So the ghost put her in there and somehow distracted the builders while dumping the box in the hole? Who dug that hole? Luckily the ghost didn’t deprive her of her cell phone so Jed’s able to save her just before she has to go all Uma Thurman and punch her way out. Turns out the baby was alive when she buried it, so she’s getting off pretty light.

And guess fucking what: Grace is dead. Jed doesn’t even flash a remorseful glance as he watches her old bones get hauled away. Charming.

So after three episodes, it’s becoming clear that these beautiful, utterly useless idiots are the real terrors of Bedlam Heights. As far as I can tell, the ghosts are improving the neighborhood by scaring away awful people. If they’d just focus on getting Kate and company out, the property values would shoot through the roof.

3 Responses to “TV: Bedlam 1.3”

  1. […] TV: Bedlam 1.3 – This show is garbage. Can’t wait for the inevitable CW import. […]

  2. […] TV: Bedlam 1.3 – This show is garbage. Can’t wait for the inevitable CW import. […]

  3. Anti Aging Miracle? This Mother Cured Her Wrinkles In Just 7 Days!…

    […]TV: Bedlam 1.3 « 31 Flavors of Terror[…]…

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