Archive for ghosts

The Conjuring (2013)

Posted in news with tags , on October 31, 2013 by adam

Happy Halloween, everybody!

I hope you’ve had an awesome October and you’re getting ready for a party or a parade tonight. Or perhaps you’re getting the little ones dressed up to go trick-or-treating, assuming your town actually does that on Halloween rather than the week before. Can you imagine if local governments tried to pull that shit with the Fourth of July, relegating all firework displays to the Thursday before the holiday? There would be chaos in the streets. It’s fine to fuck around with Halloween but ‘Merica would not stand idly by while its patriotism was rescheduled. This is clearly part of the religious right’s crusade against Halloween. I will not stand for your anti-Samhainism, Michele Bachmann.

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Lovely Molly (2011)

Posted in movies with tags , , on October 30, 2012 by adam

As I write this it’s Monday evening and the remnants of Hurricane Sandy are battering the five boroughs. It’s certainly a serious storm but the LIBERAL MEDIA has been promoting it like it’s the End of Days. TV weathermen are such hypocrites. They stand there all dignified and serious, describing gale-force winds and urging viewers not to go outside. They act like delivering this kind of information is the worst part of their job, like those World War II messengers who drove around bringing death-o-grams to devastated widows and orphans. They didn’t make this awful weather, they seem to say, but someone has to report it.

Sure, weathermen don’t create storms, but they absolutely wish they could. If weathermen controlled the weather, we’d all be building arks. They want this shit to happen. It makes their jobs exciting and important. Meteorologists see three low pressures systems merging and they don’t think about the impending loss of life. They’re too busy nursing raging boners over finally getting to use their typhoon warning graphics. If anchormen approached the news with the same salivating ecstasy weathermen display when upgrading a cyclone to category four, Brian Williams would be the most notorious serial killer in history.

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Munger Road (2011)

Posted in movies with tags , on October 21, 2012 by adam

This year I’ve been too busy to watch much football, which has severely damaged my fantasy football performance. I play in three or four leagues every year and I usually finish near the top of all of them. Right now I’m 3-3 in all my leagues, and really I shouldn’t even be doing that well. Not watching my customary fifteen hours of football a week leaves me completely clueless about who to start or pick up on waivers. Example: the two weeks I benched Chris Johnson, he rushed for 230 yards. The other four weeks I started him he totaled 70. Also, I drafted Chris Johnson. Continue reading

Paranormal Activity 4

Posted in movies with tags , , , , on October 20, 2012 by adam

Relax. I’m not going to whine about how over-saturated the found footage market is. I’m not going to complain that to benefit from pretending a movie is cobbled together from non-fiction recordings, you have to explain how those recordings survived and were found. I’m tired of shouting at the rain. People love this crap right now so studios will continue making it until audiences demonstrate they’ve had enough. Say, for example, by not going to see the latest installment in the flagship found footage series… Continue reading

The Silent House (La Casa Muda) (2010)

Posted in movies with tags , , , on October 16, 2012 by adam

My wife is awesome.

I love spooky movies filled with big, nasty scares and blood-chilling shocks, even though I literally tremble with dread every time I know one is coming. Startling us is one of the few ways external stimuli can reliably override our intellectual responses and force us to react in a certain way. Being scared is like being briefly in the power of a terrible magic, made pleasurable only because you know it will soon pass. I do everything I can to maximize the impact of scary movies. I always try to watch them alone, at night, and with the lights off. A drink or two doesn’t hurt. Continue reading

Lake Mungo (2008)

Posted in movies with tags , , , on October 14, 2012 by adam

Hey. It’s me. Can we talk? I need to explain something.

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V/H/S (2012)

Posted in movies with tags , , , , , , , on October 5, 2012 by adam

The horror anthology, it seems, is back. If you haven’t heard of V/H/S yet, you will soon. It’s opening in select cities today but it’s been bouncing around the festival circuit to universal raves all year. I suspect its biggest success will come when it hits DVD in a month or two. If you do happen to catch it in the theater though, you’ll be treated to a preview for the next buzzworthy indie horror anthology, a gimmicky compilation called The ABCs of Death, which will be comprised of no less than 26 creepy shorts, one for each letter of the alphabet. There will be a quiz after.

There are anthology films in other genres – Four Rooms is a relatively recent example and there are many more to be found with a quick search – but horror is by far the most common. Maybe that’s because horror lends itself to bite size samples more readily than, say, historical epics or romantic comedies. Or maybe it’s because those same bite size samples in any other genre are packaged as Short Films, to be curated rather than collected. Movies are best enjoyed as exhibits in seven-hour lectures on remodernism, amiright? I would not have done well in film school.

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